Rating:
Wow! A plotless scooby-doo style teen psychodrama. Seriously whoever did this movie, should consider doing teen romantic comedies from now on , because this attempt at horror is a failure on every level. The only considerable upsides are the music (really good oldschool pop-rock) and some shots are quite good looking. But aside from that there’s no plot, no acting, no reason for the whole thing to be happening. Well at first we think there’s a reason and then they serve us with that amazing twist that will tell us that no – it just doesn’t make sense – we wanted to kill some teens on a farm and that’s it. Don’t digest it, spit it out.

Rating:
Whoa! We have a 3d flick with a Mike Myers wannabe. Big, strong and not very talkative guy on a killing spree in a mining town + a bunch of teenagers after graduation (of course) and then 10 years later he comes back to kill them when they’re the respected citizens. Of course there’s mystery, there’s some old stories, some people are to blame etc etc. All in all this is extremely boring and the super plot twist at the end doesn’t justify anything that happened before. Badly so – it denies most of it. But I don’t want to spoil an awful movie for you too much anyway. It’s best to stay away from both the mine and this movie. Not scary, not good, not nothing.

Rating:
This is definitely a movie that I will forget and soon. The story itself could’ve been really good, with the characters forgetting their friends after they die. Could’ve but isn’t. I think that is because of the teen acting, not convincing and not good at all. It starts to annoy me when there are more than two teens in a movie, because I know that it eventually will turn into a scooby doo kinda thing. Oh and the plot twist at the end ? You can predict it half an hour ahead. The producers should start to think more about choosing the right actors, or quitting the teen horror/drama genre altogether because it sucks. +1 for the story because it’s new. But at the same time it still has some flaws. Basically some teens are graduating (like in any other teen movie, they always graduate like it’s a big deal) and they’re having those oh so crazy parties. Can you believe they drink underage? And drive? And smoke weed? EVIL!
And then they start dying one by one, while the main character remembers that she had a friend once, that she abandoned for those new friends and forgot about. So yeah, I like the story, but the rest made me twist and turn in my seat waiting for the damned thing to end. And of course I could’ve walked out early since the ending was exactly the idea I thought they will do. Predictable. And plenty of jumping in the dark, pale face, big teeth large mouths. Cliche :/

Rating:
Rob Zombie is a funny fella. First of all his chosen last name is horror related enough, he records some nice tunes and has a big pirate beard. A while ago he decided to make horrors as well as music with house of the 1000 corpses, and now he has taken on a cult classic – halloween. The basic idea is pretty simple : Mike Myers kills his family and is placed in a mental institution. Of course we see the slow process of him becoming a monster (like beating up some kid and such) but after many years of being locked away he breaks free and comes back to his hometown to find his younger sister. Of course it’s halloween (oddly enough) and he kills everyone he comes in contact with and is almost invulnerable for some reason. What’s good about it is the change from a bit fat freckled kid into a 7 foot tall monster with a knife. Not much psychology there really, just some teens, a killer and as a typical killer in a teen flick, when they run he doesn’t, he just walks slowly knowing they will trip or fall or whatever. A bit cliche at times, but overall not bad. It doesn’t have that plastic “we don’t know special effects yet” feel of the first version. It might be lacking some atmosphere indulging too much into a teen-horror-drama but that is a sign of our times we have to come to terms with.

Rating:
A funky case of a movie where the victims are more animal like, and the killers more thought out and sophisticated. If we add some bullshit about it being based upon real events (it was later confirmed that it wasn’t) we’ll have something that can scare you sometimes. The plot is pretty nice , a couple getaway in a desolate house somewhere, plus some strangers that just like to kill people. Of course they wear spooky masks and do everything in their power to seem unnatural and inhuman to their victims. You know – long walks in plain sight, or just standing there looking scary. Stuff like that. There’s of course the dehumanization process being shown, how the main characters slowly become paranoid, stop thinking and base their judgement on the basic instincts. And that could’ve been the main advantage, but it slowly becomes irritating and boring to see how lousy and stupid the couple becomes. You start thinking that you’d have more cold blood and calculation in such a situation and you’ll be 100% sure about it. They’re idiots. Almost as if they deserve it anyway for being so stupid. But the bad gusy – although very well prepared are not gonna be who you’re rooting for either. They don’t say much, they’re a little creepy but mostly they make you think : how the f… did they think of THAT ? All in all worth a watch but only in a dark room and with someone who gets easily scared – their reactions could be more priceless for you than the movie itself.

Rating:
So how do we top off a successful horror flick? We make it bigger, better, with more explosions, failed experiments and stuff like that. Let’s also add a tragic little story to it, so we’ll have a perfect mix one more time.
The plot is simple enough : The zombies are out in the city now, and the humans have to survive at all costs. There’s also an odd looking supermutant “Nemezis” (what a nice idea to name the Enemy “the enemy” )
The good thing is that it’s still fun to watch if you think about it in terms of a hollywood style horror – in which even if someone dies, you can be damn sure the main character will barely be scratched. Yes, “Alice” is still kicking ass flawlessly. If we take aside the poorly written drama and/or emotional parts we have plenty of action, fighting, running, girls with guns and of course zombies. It’s not something that will have you believing in the boogeyman again, more of an action film with zombies attached to it. But sometimes entertainment should be just that – entertaining. And this is. Nothing more.

Rating:
Ok, a spanish horror! Well we’ve seen that the spaniards can do a good scary film, didn’t we? This one is almost as good as REC but it doesn’t get right there. Still worth a watch. A doctor comes to an out-of-town psychiatric ward to study some new patients. But after a while it all begins to blur, and we don’t know who the doctor and who the patient is anymore. A really good acting, with a convincing storyline and pretty good visual side. It all works quite well in this one kids, you better check it out! I’m not usually the guy who finishes early, but this is JUST a good movie , not great but not bad either. So go and watch it, and you won’t regret it.

Rating:
Ok, so here’s a horror movie that caused controversy before it’s release. Why you ask? Because of the overly photoshopped ass of the main character on the posters. So what can we expect from this? A twisted story about an unborn child, some mystery, some evil. And the unborn evil kid now wants to be born, so he scares the shit out of his to-be sister. The main fault aside from the plasticity of it all and the hollywood scent all over is the fact that it’s more of a scooby doo mystery, with the kid(s) trying to find it out. All in all there’s barely any atmosphere, and a kid with makeup doesn’t really qualify as THAT scary. Emotional problems and an old nazi (of course!) story from the past + a bunch of jumping out from the dark stuff. This movie is not scary, it’s boring. Unless you’re into watching scooby doo. I think you have stuff to do with your afternoon, that are far more worth the time. Like go take a nap, or make some paper planes.

Rating:
What’s cool about this one is that although it’s made based upon a video game, it doesn’t follow the path of many failures like mortal kombat or doom. There are many flaws in this movie – poor acting, so-so special effects, and story (even if totally different, with new characters and plot) is a bit hard to understand for the first half of the movie. Especially for those who had no contact with the game before.
But all in all, a nice mix where the bad balances the good, and the whole thing is pretty entertaining to watch. Not really a horror in the traditional terms. There’s no feeling of helplesness at any point – we’re sure the main character is so ninja-assassin-super-duper-soldier that no harm can be done to her anyway. So it’s mostly about seeing zombies being blown to bits over and over again, but it is fun. And that’s all that matters. Oh and zombie-dobermans are a quite nice idea too. If for some reason you’ve been living under a rock for the last 7 years go and rent this – right now it can be called a classic, since there were two sequels to date, both pretty successful as well. Maybe it is a mass-product, but in it’s category it defends itself. Won’t scare you, but it will entertain you, with a ninja-in-a-skirt and a bunch of zombie dobermans. What more do you want?

Rating:
Well Silent Hill was a pretty big title when it comes to games. But does it hold up as a movie? As much as I’ve seen around the internets, the fans of the game hate it, while people who are mature enough (and/or lazy) and did not play much aside from Solitaire think it’s pretty good. Well I did not play the game, in fact I haven’t played a video game since space invaders were a big hit. But let’s not run too far away from the subject. So yeah, there are some changes between the game and the movie, but is the movie any good?
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