Rating:
Whoa! The first blair witch was pretty bad but this one is plain stupid. It’s not a documentary anymore, rather a poorly done teen flick that doesn’t have ANY strong points. It’s a blair witch fail. The only plus is some good music here and there. But really, if someone gives this dvd to you as a birthday gift, just punch that person in the face, allright?

Rating:
yeah this is a bit unexpected, since this part is definitely worse than the first remake, but for some reason I didn’t hate it. Some young ranger/boy scouts are training in the desert while a bunch of canibal-mutants are warming up their ovens. Well, not really since they like it raw, but you get the message So anyways, the story shows that an unprepared civilian is more likely to survive than a bunch of armed to-be soldiers. That’s horror movie reality for you. But this movie wasn’t disgusting, nor was it boring for the most part. It’s an “ok” movie, not bad for a night with friends that you’d like to cook … with

Rating:
The first part of the Wrong Turn series is by far the best one of them. The story is simple enough. But they manage to make it interesting anyway by clever use of scary elements and acting that compared to the other two from the series are simply great (by being just good). Some people take a wrong turn in the woods and they get lost, while a family of mutants starts hunting them. That’s basically it, but seriously this one works. The mutants are pretty much the same, which is odd because they die and resurrect in every movie somehow. It’s well written, pretty well acted, and directed by someone who knows the deal. If you want to watch a “wrong turn” movie make it this one. And skip the other two cause they simply just suck.

Rating:
Ok, so you’re walking home from somewhere, it’s late. And you think – I can go the long way and be safe, or maybe I should take the shortcut through the evil woods where millions of teens were killed, but not recently, so I should be ok? I know I’ve had this dilemma over and over, many times before. In my case though both ways were unsafe anyway so it was just better to carry a shotgun along from junior high. Well anyways. So I sort of told you what the plot is. Yeah, a kid is dared to go there and he gets scared by an old, evil man living in those woods. So his older brother, working at a fast food joint decides no old man will scare my little brother while I’m makin’ burgers, you get it? So he takes his friend, some guy from school and a couple of teenage girls (because of course teenage girls are necessary on a trip to some evil, twisted old guy in the middle of nowhere, you know they can help and all.) So they go there and they find out that there’s more wrong with that place than they expected. And then the movie ends sort of. Sure it’s not terrible, but also nothing special. One of those films that make us hate the teen movie genre alltogether unfortunately. This one is not really wrong in many ways, but it’s repetitive and it gets boring even before it reaches the half. If you like teen movies and work at a fast food place then sure, watch it and see what a hero fast food people can be. In other cases watch something else.

Rating:
A more thrillery kinda thing than a real horror, even if the poster might fool you a bit. But was it any good? Actually it wasn’t as bad as some reviews I’ve read. It had some suspense and some action, and the plot wasn’t really that stupid. There were some plotholes of course but what do you expect? A movie without those? Not these days, sorry. Basically there’s a cop trying to solve the murders that seems to be following the Bible’s “Apocalypse” with the four horsemen. And in time he discovers some shocking truths about those murders. What can I say, some parts were really cool near the end. can’t say which ones because it’d spoil you the fun, but the second half of this movie is actually better than the first. Sure it’s not a classic, but there are many movies that are way worse than this, so you can easily take that dvd home and you probably won’t regret it.

Rating:
This is pretty much the same disgusting gore piece but this time with women. Is there a point to all this? Nope. Is it fun to watch? Not a chance. Was the director a sick man? Nope. Wait, what?
I mean it’s trying to be as disgusting as possible, but at the same time it fails even at that, since japanese people have made countless brutality movies that exceed what this has to offer even for the mentally ill. I’d skip it just like the first part and let’s hope for no part 3.

Original Rating:
Remake Rating:
This could now be considered a classic. A first one of the super successful japanese horrors that made it into the american popculture. And of course the remakes followed since there’s no better way to make a good movie than stealing someone’s already successful script, right? So what are the differences? Well the actors for one. The original has japanese people and subtitles so it’s a different experience. The american version is on the other hand more accessible, but somewhere it loses it’s charm. The story itself is simple, and famous. You watch some videotape and you get cursed and you die. The videotape itself has already made it to youtube of course so if you want to risk it, go ahead and look for it. Don’t blame me if you die in a few days though
The japanese version was a little bit better, scarier and had a deeper storyline. While the american, being more “standard” was something that we were already used to, so probably that’s why it didn’t look any original at all. If you want to choose just one, choose the original. You’ll have plenty of chances to see other remakes of foreign horrors anyway. And this classic deserves some respect.

Rating:
I seriously don’t get it. I watched it on dvd right after it’s release and everyone was like “Man you gotta see that! What a movie! Unbelievable!”. But it’s just a movie. Sure it was first of the kind, but it’s nothing special. And it’s not really that scary, considering the fact that there are many flaws in there, and in some shots you can see a reflection of a professional crew of film makers and stuff like that. So a bunch of kids get lost in the woods near some supposedly evil witch’s place and then something happens to them but hey, it was dark so we don’t really see it. And I wonder, if the footage was found in the place they died, why didn’t the witch kill the people who found the footage? Unless she moved out or something, or maybe she sold the house, you know with the recession, and moved into a small, one bedroom apartment. Sure, it was the first. But as far as “fake documentaries” go, this is not really a fine example of the genre.

Rating:
Sure, it’s a big, commercial thing. Sure, it was a fine example of online marketing. Sure, the posters were pretty nice. But you know what? It’s a really good movie. Basically a fake documentary, shot by a small home-camera about a monster invading new york. But it’s convincing in a way that we know it’s just a movie, but we forget about it while watching it. And they did a really really good job, by not showing tons of cgi generated monsters all the time. The monster sequences are maybe 2 minutes of the movie so it’s more about the atmosphere and the tension of what’s going to happen than scary monsters jumping out from the dark.
It’s good. It’s really good. I just hope they won’t make part 2 because in such a case sequels are never a good idea.

Rating:
Any similarity to the band Basement Jaxx is probably intentional, to make this sound a bit more familiar. But well let’s not blame the producers since it’s not a fancy big budget thing. Although it’s done professionally enough to be a little bit convincing. First of all, the main bad guy is a remix of Jason Voorhees, only smaller and more “human”. But the flashbacks from his past reveal an abusive mother that can be blamed for all his evils throughout his big killing spree. It’s actually pretty solid. What’s lacking is the acting of the supposedly “good” guys. Aside from the apartment manager guy the rest of the cast is pretty bleak and uninteresting. The story is simple enough, an abused boy turned into a monster killer, that kills whole families (probably since he was lacking a true family himself) but first he hides in their basements, usually for quite a long time, without being noticed. And when a thunderstorm comes he comes out and kills everyone. But one person manages to escape him, a girl of course, and after ten years she becomes his legacy. Unfinished business or whatever. And she knows that so she prepared herself with training, guns and all that “hard-chick” look over those years. So a clash is inevitable but is it really worth to root for the good guys? Not here. I’m with Jack on this one. He’s the cool guy here, even if a bit of a ripoff from Jason. The movie overall is nothing special, pretty good but without anything spectacular going on. Not a waste of time though.