Archive for the ‘Teen’ Category

Movie: Scream 4

Monday, February 13th, 2012


Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Why does this happen at all? Come on Wes Craven, do something different instead of milking that same cow over and over again.

So we get another part of the Scream series, in which the most innovative thing is that the killer uses an iPhone to call his victims, instead of those old, heavy and bulky cellphones from previous movies. I’m pretty sure he’s playing angry birds too, waiting for his victims. Or maybe fruit ninja, to practice his cuts and stabs. This is more of a comedy than a horror movie – the only horror’y thing here is the cliche loud noise with someone jumping out. The rest is typical teen gore that’s not completely bad, but nothing inspiring too. If you want to laugh over a beer or two with your friends (or your cat) over some teens being stabbed.

It’s really like a movie inside a movie, that became so iconic in a way, that it’s laughing at itself. In that respect it works and is even pretty fun sometimes. But even as a self-parody I’m not quite sure if it’s actually needed.

Posted in Comedy, Gore, Horror, Psychopath, Teen | No Comments »

Movie: Exorcismus – the possession of Emma Evans

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Rating: ★★½☆☆

It seems the devil is back, after the last few dreadful "vampire years". We had the new Omen recently, a pretty good “Devil” movie, Religious from top to bottom REC2, and the awesome “The Last Exorcism”. So if people started liking exorcisms, priests and posessed little girls, why shouldn’t everyone jump on that wagon? And some more people did with the poor Emma Evans being posessed because she played with the ouija board, and sort of brought it on herself. Boo hoo!

So we had the last exorcism, the Emily Rose one, and now Emma Evans is in the house, playing FIFA on Xbox and being all posessed and sad at the same time. Too bad it doesn’t quite work because compared to “The Last Exorcism” this movie doesn’t win in ANY category. It’s simple, not scary, oddly written and the characters seem a lot out of place. It reminds me at times of Sy-Fy productions, just not the better ones. The acting is so-so, and the thing as a whole leaves the viewer impression-less. Nothing stands out in this movie – it’s just a horror flick about a possessed girl – nothing more, nothing less. If you’ve seen all the other recent Exorcism movies, then maybe you should check it out. But if you want a good Exorcism see the original from the 80′s because it’s far scarier. Almost as if the devil became more mainstream, like the one from South Park.

Not bad, not good. Sorry. I’d seriously like to see a good horror film set in the UK, but this one is pretty mediocre.

Posted in Devil, Family, Horror, Teen | No Comments »

Movie: Shark Night 3D

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

Rating: ★★★☆☆

So after the horrible Piranha 3D we now have another fish/teen movie combo, also in 3D, so be sure there's gonna be a fish jumping out at you from the screen. I’d want my money back normally, especially since Piranha was one of the worst movies of last year, but this time it’s not all that bad. Sharks aren’t in the movies all too often, and since Jaws there wasn’t really a good shark movie, unless I’ve been living under a rock or something. This is by no means dethroning Jaws from it’s rightful place – make no mistake about it. It’s not the king of fish movies, just a mix of a prince and a jester, but he does his job right.

I’m not talking about the 3d of course, because frankly I don’t think a good movie needs these effects at all (think “Insidious”), but aside from that there are some pretty good scenes here and some wild ones as well. It’s also VERY predictable, to the point that you can guess easily who and when will die, and you can guess the plot twists a lot faster, than the plot is trying to explain it. But movies like this are not for the twists and plot and good acting. Movies like this are about sharks violently devouring kids. By the way – why is it usually teenage/college kids? I’d love to see a shark movie at a retirement home, with old people fighting for survival. Apparently I’m the only one, so we get some “sort-of-hot” girls (they’re not THAT hot, trust me) and plenty of “accidental” camera pans towards their asses. If that’s what you need to sell a movie fine by me, but it won’t be a cult classic – sorry.

This is actually a job well done for a shark film in a genre (fish horror?) that is strongly underpopulated at all. If you’re not satisfied don’t worry – knowing the holywood producers talents we’ll soon see a 3d horror about murderous plankton or amoebas! God, am I the only one waiting for “The Thing” remake?

Posted in Action, Animals, Horror, Teen, Thriller | No Comments »

Movie: Super 8

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011


Rating: ★★½☆☆

Super 8 is a highly acclaimed thriller (not a horror, as it’s not scary) with some quirky elements that move it closer to E.T. go home, than a traditional thriller. It follows a group of boys making a movie, who accidentaly witness a terrible train crash. For those who don’t know that yet, it’s the scene from the trailers, that’s also almost the best scene in the whole movie (the very best scenes are AFTER the credits though, so it’s worth to wait the credits off or skip). The train accident was also portrayed in an interactive teaser made inside the Portal 2 Game from Valve – in it you’re on that train and survive the crash somehow. You can walk around the rubble, until you find out one cart is carrying something else. Something evil ;)

Well, to be honest – it’s more of a teen movie than anything else. E.T. and Goonies come to mind when watching this. If you’re expecting evil aliens, explosions, gore and such, you’ll be disappointed. It’s not bad though, just not too good either. There are many plotholes, and the acting could’ve been better sometimes. For something that received so much hype it’s definitely a failure. It’s not really boring, but you can easily predict nearly every plot twist, due to the lack of originality in this one. The grainy, 70′s style visuals were probably a clever idea of the director, but all they do is they remind you about the movies this copies from.

Oh and for all those hoping – there are NO zombies here.

The best part is AFTER the credits, and has nothing to do with the plot itself – think of it as a completely different (though short) film.

Posted in Alien, Teen, Thriller | No Comments »

Movie : My Soul to Take (2010)

Friday, February 25th, 2011


Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Wes Craven comes back with a different kind of story right now. This time it’s about some crazy murderer from the past that comes back to kill the kids born on the day of his death. And since they’re 16 now, he’s gonna make their “sweet sixteen” a memorable experience. So we meet the characters which are a typical group of american teens – every kind of person is there. Just in case. They start to die, things start happening and we get more and more confused to who’s really doing that. Is it really that dead serial killer ? Is it one of the kids? Is it the gardener? Well it doesn’t really matter much because the main problem here is actually the boredom. This movie drags. It’s so slow that I had plenty of time to eat my popcorn before it was halfway through. Sorry.

Also – it’s not scary. A typical teen horror, so there are some loud, sudden noises and some blood, but it’s not something that’ll keep you awake at night. Sorry. Unfortunately Wes Craven is not as good as he used to be. This is a mediocre movie, that actually couldn’t be any better. Maybe it’s just me though, but I hate teen-horror movies. Teens are usually stupid and annoying on screen.

So if you like your mind being numb and bored, go watch it. It’s not terrible. It’s just not any good either. A movie that you’ll never remember or reference in your life after watching it. If it’s recommendation enough then go and watch it already ;)

Posted in Curse, Gore, Teen | No Comments »

Movie : Chain Letter

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011


Rating: ★★☆☆☆

American teenagers. Will they ever learn? Chatting away on myspaces and facebooksm with total strangers and then pretty surprised when the stranger tries to kill them. Boo hoo. Unfortunately this movie didn’t quite work for me. The idea waw promiwing, to ahow that cellphones and internets can also pose a threat. You know, two sides of things.

But what we get is a typical teen horror in which the killer’s smart, the teens are stupid and all hope for anything good is lost. Well there’s one epiphany scene in this movie that is actually pretty good, but it doesn’t really contribue much to the movie itself.

They tried to raise awareness to the fact that those tech gadgets we use although useful and nice do have an other side to them. Stalkers, pervs, killers, hackers, nerds and colin powell. Nah scratch that last one.

Anyway, it has a lot of gore for a typical american movie, but aside from that it’s what it is. A typical american teen horror that tried to be something more with a pretty good idea. Too bad the idea was poorly executed. I’d worry more abaut aspartam in my food than the serial killer here. Oh and the characters have no personality, they’re not likeable so I didn’t care much for their deaths. And that in a horror film can be a bad thing.

Now send this link to 5 friends or you’re all dead tomorrow ;) ))

Posted in Psychopath, Technology, Teen | No Comments »